Surviving the zombie oxocalypse
By James McKean
They come to feast on brains. Which means that any zombie onslaught is almost certainly going to target the boffins and geniuses we have cooped up in our colleges. It has never been more dangerous to go to Oxford.
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Oriel’s chapel might be best known as the home of theologian John Henry Newman, but, in addition to being the heart of the Oxford Movement, it could also be the heart of the Oxford Zombie Resistance.
When you first see corpses walking the streets, when the first screams shatter the night, come here. If you want to see your families again (providing they haven’t been turned into chili con carne by ravenous ghouls), head to Oriel, bring guns, and knuckle down.
A machine gun deployed beneath the portico can sweep the entire front quad, supported by additional weaponry on the roof and through the windows. A flamethrower in the Newman Chapel would complete the impenetrable field of fire.
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